A FAKE WAR HERO TAKES A WILD RIDE TO A SWASHBUCKLING REDEMPTION IN THE LAST EUROPEAN COLONY IN AFRICA
“Got the name, play the game,” jokes Frank Warz after perching atop a steel clothesline pole in a lightning storm. It’s 1975 in recession-wracked Detroit. Warz can’t get a toehold on the American Dream despite working his way through college. On the books, the slump is over, but so is Vietnam, which affects Warz more.
A struggling member of the working class, he’s hounded by tough breaks and regret because college meant bypassing his generation’s rite of passage. He believes he would have fought well. So he climbs steel poles in thunder storms to get a sense of what he missed.
Warz (aka Warszawicz) feels suckered out of a military destiny by his country. Sometimes he needs to pose as a decorated veteran to feel like one. Surviving on iron-age sweatshop jobs, estranged from his kids, owing child support, he is also trying to avoid a gang vendetta. Then one day a discarded newspaper casually informs him, “The French Foreign Legion is alive and well and living in the south of France.”
Warz’ plague of hard luck suddenly turns god-awful when he gets into a car crash with injuries. He’s blameless but has to run. Later, after passing a self-administered test of nerve, he recalls the newspaper op ed that the Foreign Legion isn’t disbanded. He feels the nudge from his WWI-hero grandfather to be honest with himself. Just missing a visit from police detectives fires off events that make him race to Paris.
During its hard-edged screening, the Legion introduces Warz to its severe world, which includes the last European colony in Africa, the French Territory of the Afars and Issas—”Djibouti” for short—a spot of hell, he hears, where the sun hammers rocks until they scream. But the Legion rejects him.
Destitute, facing a fugitive’s homecoming, Warz steps on funds right after he daydreams being paid for an act of heroism. The cash lets him get back on track. Intent on a fulfilling career, he buys an old camera to cover the Legion and follows the 13th DBLE, which is garrisoned in Djibouti. He wants to become a conflict photographer. Why not? he reasons, his action pics of high-school football were admired. However, now he fixes his low self-esteem by pretending to be a battle-seasoned “shooter” as well as a war hero.
Traveling through Ethiopia to save money, the narrow-minded Warz has experiences that fail to change his perspective. Some include close calls from nomads and hyena, and one from a young journalist who nearly unmasks him. A bittersweet night with a married Swedish woman follows an unusual photo session with her while a vagabond he spots resembles a deceased rock star too much. Then in Djibouti, Warz gets a taste of what he came for as he watches the Legion catch trespassers in a response that almost brings down an airliner. But the real excitement comes after he meets Cassius Lovingood, an African-American and Legion deserter. “Cass” for short.
The fine-featured Cass’s disguise as a Somali sheikh fools most whites. He’s returning to Djibouti to help his buddy escape from the Legion on its high holy day. Warz joins Cass to help and record the escape. The plan, though audacious, should work, but it backfires into a racist face-off between Warz and Cass and then by close-quarters violence between legionnaires who catch them and a would-be Somali warlord that catches them all. Of course, Warz gets the action he’s always wanted, but he never imagined there could be a price.